


You Can Do This

by HedgehogJW



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9121210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedgehogJW/pseuds/HedgehogJW
Summary: Upstairs John heard the noise and leapt to his feet. He was down the stairs and at Mrs Hudson’s side within seconds. Lying at her feet was a barely conscious Sherlock. “Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed as he dropped to his knees at Sherlock’s side.





	1. Chapter 1

A cab pulled up outside 221B Baker Street and John Watson got out. He’d spent a few days with his sister Harry. He wasn’t convinced she’d stay sober but it had been good to spend some time with her, to make peace. He smiled. He was tired and glad to be home.

As he turned the key in the lock and opened the door he heard Mrs Hudson call out “Sherlock, is that you?”

“No it’s me.” he called back.

As he closed the door behind him Mrs Hudson met him in the hallway looking a bit flustered. “You OK?” he asked

“Oh, hello dear. Yes I’m fine. I just haven’t seen Sherlock for a few days so I was hoping that was him.”

John walked up to Mrs Hudson and put his hand on her shoulder “I’m sure he’s fine” he told her “Probably on a case. You know what he’s like. Let me get sorted and I’ll give Lestrade a call to put your mind at rest.”

“Thank you.” Mrs Hudson smiled “How was your trip?”

“It was good thanks. It was nice to spend some time with Harry while she’s sober for a change.”

“Why don’t you go and sit down. I’ll bring you some tea and you can tell me all about it.”

“That would be lovely.” John told her and headed upstairs.

As he entered the flat it was obvious Sherlock hadn’t been there for a while, it was too tidy for a start. He dropped his bag on the floor and had a look round to see if Sherlock had left any details to his new case lying around but there was nothing. He took his phone from his pocket and called DI Lestrade, he was bound to know what Sherlock was up to.

“Hi John” Lestrade said cheerfully “Have a good break? How’s your sister?”

“Fine thanks Greg. It was good to see her completely sober. Let’s just hope she can keep it up.”

“I hope she can mate. So what can I do for you?”

“I just wondered what Sherlock was up to. Mrs Hudson says he’s not been around for a couple of days so I figured he was probably working on something for you.”

“Sorry John, I’ve no idea. I’ve had no cases crop up for him while you’ve been away. Must have his own.”

“Oh OK. Mrs Hudson’s a bit worried that’s all, so I thought I’d ask. He’s bound to turn up soon, you know what he’s like. Thanks anyway. Bye.”

As he walked back into the living room he saw Mrs Hudson coming in with a tray of tea. “You’re an angel.” he told her “Thanks Mrs H.” 

John sat down in his chair and Mrs Hudson sat opposite him and poured the tea. “Here I thought you might like some cake too.” she said as she passed a plate to him. “So how was your sister?”

“Good thanks” John answered and took a bite of cake. “This is lovely. Did you make it?” Mrs Hudson smiled and nodded. “I’ve spoken to Greg” he went on “but he hasn’t given a case to Sherlock while I’ve been away. Didn’t you see any clients at all?”

Mrs Hudson shook her head. “No dear. Sherlock went out 3 days ago without saying a word and I haven’t seen him since.” 

John noticed the worried expression on her face and he had to admit it was a bit unusual, even for Sherlock, to disappear if no client had called. Still there was bound to be some sort of puzzle involved if Sherlock had been occupied for three days. 

John smiled at the anxious lady sat opposite him “I’m sure he’s fine. He’ll turn up soon all excited about another case solved. You know what he’s like. He’s so self absorbed that he never gives a thought to us sat worrying about him. He doesn’t mean to upset you, he just doesn’t think.”

Mrs Hudson sighed “I know dear but it doesn’t stop me worrying. He’s always involved with such dangerous people, well you both are. I don’t know how I sleep at night.” She looked at John whose smile was now even wider at the thought of this woman, who claimed to be nothing but their landlady worrying about them. She smiled back at him. “Oh I guess you’re right.” 

The pair sat and drank their tea while discussing John’s trip. Mrs Hudson had almost finished when there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it” she said getting up and leaving the room.

On the pavement outside 221B a well dressed man was supporting a taller, rather dishevelled looking man with dark, curly hair. They had just got out of a cab and the well dressed man was talking as the cab drove away. “Well Sherlock, Johnny boy is not gonna be happy with you now is he? He’s gonna be so disappointed when he finds out what you’ve been up to while he’s been away. You know how he hates you using drugs.” The man gave a sly smile to the taller man in the long coat as he walked him over to the front door and leant him against it.

“Moriarty I will get you.” Sherlock told him with slightly slurred speech.

“Oh I don’t think I have too much to fear from a drug addict, do you?” he almost sang. “Bye Sherlock.” With that he knocked the door and walked away. 

Sherlock leant against the door, half unconscious, unable to stand up straight and waited for the door to be opened. When it was he had no option but to fall. As he lay there he heard Mrs Hudson scream.

Upstairs John heard the noise and leapt to his feet. He was down the stairs and at Mrs Hudson’s side within seconds. Lying at her feet was a barely conscious Sherlock. “Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed as he dropped to his knees at Sherlock’s side. “What happened to you?” he asked frantically checking Sherlock over.

“Ah John, my friend, it’s always good to see you.” he muttered with a crooked smile before passing out completely.


	2. Chapter 2

“Call an ambulance!” John ordered Mrs Hudson.

Sherlock’s breathing was depressed and his heart rate was weak. John checked for signs of injury but there were none. Sherlock’s pupils were constricted and his face was pale and clammy. John’s heart missed a beat. Things were starting to fall into place and he didn’t like it. Frantically he searched Sherlock’s pockets. “What have you done?” he asked his friend “For God’s sake Sherlock why? I was only gone a few days. You could have rung me.” 

John continued to mutter as he searched and finally found what he was looking for although he’d hoped he wouldn’t. He pulled a piece of paper from Sherlock’s pocket and on it was written the names of various drugs. He sighed. What had made Sherlock do this he wondered? Three days Sherlock had been missing, that was some binge John thought. He pushed Sherlock’s sleeves up and found various needle marks on his arms. John rubbed his face with his hand, he couldn’t believe this was happening.

As he sat there Sherlock started to mutter. “Moriarty” was the first word John heard “Stop it” was next as Sherlock, eyes half open now pushed at him.

“Sherlock” John said as he took hold of Sherlock’s arms “It’s me John. Can you hear me?”

“John, where is he? Where’s Moriarty?”

“He’s not here Sherlock. You’re at home. Why did you do it? Why did you take the drugs?”

Sherlock frowned “Moriarty did it.” he stated.

“No Sherlock. You did this. Why? Why didn’t you call me if you felt the urge?”

Sherlock was drifting out of consciousness again. “Sherlock” John shook him gently, his eyes opened briefly and then closed again.

John was suddenly aware of a quiet sobbing noise behind him. He turned to see Mrs Hudson, tears rolling down her cheeks, watching as the situation unfurled. “Is the ambulance on its way?” he asked. She nodded. 

“I should have kept a better eye on him.” she sobbed. “I’m sorry John.”

“This isn’t your fault.” John reassured her. “Sherlock did this to himself.” He was starting to feel anger towards his friend for being so stupid. How could he risk his life like this? He could have died. He still might. No that was not what he should be thinking. Sherlock was going to be fine. He was still responding to stimulus and the ambulance would be here any minute. John listened he could hear the sirens already.

A minute or so later and the ambulance came to a halt on the street outside 221b. The crew jumped out and headed towards Sherlock still lying in the doorway with John beside him constantly checking. “What happened?” a fair haired man asked.

“Overdose” John stated and handed the list to the man.

He glanced at the paper and whistled “He’s lucky he’s still with us. What’s his name?” he asked as his colleague headed to the back of the ambulance.

“Sherlock” John answered.

As the fair haired man checked Sherlock over his colleague returned and handed him some medication. “Are you giving him Naloxone?” John asked.

“Yes, how do you know about it? Does he do this regularly?”

“No!” John snapped “I’m a doctor.”

“Oh, well you know how this works then. It would seem that we’ve caught this early enough so the medication should start to work quite quickly. Obviously we’ll take him to hospital to be monitored until we know he is going to be alright but the signs are good.”

As the ambulance crew administered the medication and loaded Sherlock onto he stretcher and then into the ambulance John went over to Mr Hudson. He gave her a hug. “It’s not your fault OK. He did this to himself.”

“But why?” she asked as John smiled lovingly at her.

“I have no idea. We’ll probably never know but he should be fine now he’s being treated. I’m going with him to the hospital and I’ll call you as soon as he’s settled and I have news.” With that he gave her another hug and then headed off towards the ambulance and his friend.

By the time they reached the hospital Sherlock was already looking more alert even if his words were still not making any sense. John couldn’t believe he was still blaming Moriarty when he was obviously suffering from a drug overdose. Still, the doctors would soon administer more medication if he kept babbling John thought.

As Sherlock was wheeled into the hospital a nurse came up to John and spoke to him. “Hi I need you to come with me please so we can take your friends details.” As John looked in the direction Sherlock had gone she continued “We’ll let you know as soon as he’s settled. He’s in good hands.” She smiled.

John followed her over to a desk and she got out a form for him to complete. “If you could fill that in and then let me have it back that would be great. You can take a seat over there.” she told him pointing to a small waiting room.

John took the form and sat down. He sighed, he still couldn’t believe this was happening. He completed all the questions and then returned it to the nurse at the desk. “Thank you.” she said “If you take a seat for just a little while longer, I’m sure the doctor will be with you soon.”

As John returned to his seat he saw the nurse put the form in a file and take it into the room where the doctors were treating Sherlock. John sat staring into space for what felt like hours but was in reality about 15 minutes. “Dr Watson?” The calling of his name brought him back to his senses. He looked to see a tall, dark haired man in his late twenties searching the faces of the people in the waiting room. He stood up and walked over. The man smiled “Would you like to come with me?” he asked as he led John into a small office.

“Take a seat.” He told John as he indicated a chair on one side of a small table. He sat down in the chair opposite and put his file down. “Sherlock is going to be fine. He’s alert now and coherent although he does maintain that the whole overdose was not his fault. Still that could just be embarrassment. There are a few things that are a little unusual” he went on frowning slightly.

John looked at him surprised “Like what?” he asked.

“Well there’s evidence of bruising on his wrists. And he is adamant that he didn’t write the list of drugs he’d taken. But considering his condition the list is likely to be accurate.”

John was struggling to take this all in. What was going on? Why wouldn’t Sherlock just admit what he’d done? “Can I see him?” he asked the doctor.

“Of course. Come with me.”


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor led John to the room he’d seen Sherlock wheeled into about 20 minutes before. He pushed the door open. “I’ll come by in a few minutes to check up on him.” 

John looked across the room at Sherlock, he was fully conscious now but his skin was still pale and his eyes looked red. “Hi Sherlock.” John said as he walked across the room. Sherlock looked up at him. “Not quite the welcome home I was expecting. How are you feeling?” 

John pulled a chair over to the side of Sherlock’s bed and sat down. “Fine” Sherlock told him “When can I go home?”

“I don’t know. We’ll have to wait for the doctor I guess. Why Sherlock? Why did you do it?”

“I didn’t it was...”

“Stop it Sherlock.” John snapped “You can’t blame other people for this. You did this to yourself. Why? Why didn’t you call me?” He couldn’t hide his anger and frustration with his friend for risking his life like this.

Sherlock glared at him. “Why are you even here if you’re not going to listen to me? What’s the point?” he yelled.

“I’m here because I’m your friend but I can’t help you if you don’t admit what you’ve done. I don’t get it Sherlock. It’s not like I don’t know about your past. I know you’ve had problems with drugs before. Addicts relapse. It happens. So why won’t you just admit it?”

“I don’t relapse, I get bored.” Sherlock sulked.

“OK so you got bored. This isn’t the answer though is it Sherlock?”

“So that’s what you think I did? You think that while you were away I got bored and went on a drugs binge? Just go home John. Or better still go back to your sister’s.” Sherlock turned his back on his friend. He was tired and he really didn’t need this. John was the one person he thought he could trust to believe him, to understand that this time it wasn’t his fault.

John sighed. “OK Sherlock let’s forget the why, I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s over and you’re alright, now just promise me you won’t do it again.”

Sherlock span round and just stared at his friend. Could he really be this stupid? 

John looked into Sherlock’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what was going on but something wasn’t right. “OK I’m sorry.” John said quietly holding his hands up in surrender. “You’re right I should listen. Just tell me what happened.”

“You won’t believe me if I tell you. I can see you don’t believe me.” Sherlock said sadly.

John felt awful. He hadn’t meant to make Sherlock feel like this. He sighed. “Please tell me Sherlock. I want to believe you, I do but you’d written a list of what you’d taken.”

“I didn’t write it. Look at it John it’s not my handwriting.” Sherlock pleaded.

“I haven’t got it anymore Sherlock, the doctors have.” Sherlock looked away. “OK I’ll go and ask them to let me look at the note.” With that John rose from the chair and went to look for the doctor.

“Excuse me” John said when he spotted the dark haired man from earlier walking down the corridor.

“Yes, is everything OK?” the doctor asked.

“Can I please see the note that Sherlock wrote?”

“Hmm I don’t know. He’s my patient I shouldn’t really show you his file.”

“I know but I am a doctor and I gave it to you. I just need to take a quick look. He claims he didn’t write it so I told him I would look at the handwriting to calm him down. Please I just need to take a look.”

The doctor smiled. “OK come with me.” He led John to the desk and picked up Sherlock’s file. He flicked through until he found the note and handed it over. John looked at the note and frowned. It didn’t look like Sherlock’s handwriting but then if he’d been taking drugs when he wrote it, it might not. He sighed. “So is it his writing?”

“It doesn’t look like it no, but maybe that’s because of the drugs.”

“Possible I guess. But it doesn’t look shaky as if he was struggling to write. Maybe a friend wrote it for him?”

John was even more confused now. The handwriting did look steady so you’d expect it to look like Sherlock’s normally did. The idea of a friend writing the list, well that was even harder to believe. Who would Sherlock ask to do it? There was no one. “Thanks.” he said as he passed the note back to the doctor and walked back down the corridor.

Sherlock noticed the changed expression on John’s face when he walked back over to the bed and sat down. He didn’t look angry anymore just confused. “Why don’t you just tell me what happened Sherlock and I promise I’ll try and keep an open mind.”

Sherlock looked at his friend and sighed. “It was Moriarty. I received an intriguing note and when I went to check it out Moriarty was there. I didn’t have a choice but to go with him John. He was going to have Mrs Hudson killed and I knew you weren’t there to protect her.” John could see the fear in his eyes. Maybe this really wasn’t his fault. Sherlock continued “He was the one who drugged me John. I swear I didn’t do it to myself.”

John searched in Sherlock’s eyes. He looked like he was telling the truth but would he really be able to tell if Sherlock was lying?

Sherlock decided to continue. “I don’t know what they gave me, some kind of opiate from the feeling I would say. I’m not sure how many times they injected me. I tried to fight against it but they strapped me down.”

John noticed the hurt look on Sherlock’s face. Something the doctor had mentioned crept into his mind. “The bruises on your wrists.” he muttered. Now it was all starting to make sense. John hated himself for not seeing it sooner. “I believe you Sherlock. I’m sorry I doubted you before.” John gave his friend a sympathetic smile.

Sherlock breathed a sigh of relief. He needed John to trust him, to believe in him. “How long was I there?” he asked.

“3 days according to Mrs Hudson. She’s been worried sick about you.”

“I don’t remember much about it. How much did they give me?”

“We’ve got no way of knowing.” John told him “But it must have been a few doses if you’ve lost track of how long you were there. The main thing is you’re alright now but you may have some withdrawal symptoms. The doctors will probably want you to stay in for that or go to a specialist clinic once they know the amount of drugs you’ve been given over the last few days.”

“I can’t John, please, don’t tell them. I want to go home. Please take me home. Can’t you look after me?” Sherlock looked utterly terrified.

“But Sherlock I’m not experienced with this kind of thing.” 

“I’ll do anything you say but don’t tell them. Don’t let them keep me in for this.”

John had no idea what Sherlock was so upset about but he couldn’t bear to see him like this. “OK Sherlock you win. But I’m going to have to make a few phone calls. Will you be alright here by yourself for a few minutes?” Sherlock nodded.

John walked outside and phoned the one person who knew Sherlock’s past well enough to answer his questions.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hello John.” A voice said on the other end. “Is everything alright?”

“Not really Mycroft no.”

“What’s happened to Sherlock?”

“He’s been taken by Moriarty while I was away for a few days. He’s been drugged, opiates of some sort it would seem. He’s OK now although I suspect he will suffer withdrawal. When I told him I thought the doctors would want to keep him in or send him to a clinic for that he freaked out. Why Mycroft?”

John heard Sherlock’s older brother sigh. “He’s been there before John, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.”

“He wants me to take him home.”

“And what do you think about that?”

“I don’t have experience of this kind of thing Mycroft. I know the basics but what if I can’t help him?”

“John, he’s more likely to let you help him than anyone else and that’s the biggest battle. But it’s your decision. If you decide to do it I will help in any way I can.” Mycroft heard John’s breathing as he waited for an answer. He knew the man would not be able to say no.

“Do you really think it’ll be easier for him if I’m the one helping him?”

“Yes John I do. But it won’t be easy, you do know that? You won’t be able to leave him for a few days at least. Are you prepared to do that for him?”

“Yes of course I am. I’m just worried that as a doctor I won’t be able to give him what he needs.”

“John what he really needs now is the support of a friend not the treatment of a doctor.” Mycroft sounded so sincere when he said those words that John couldn’t even think about saying no. Sherlock was his best friend and he needed John more than ever. There was no choice to be made, he would do whatever Sherlock needed him to do.

“OK I’ll take him home.” John said simply.

“Thank you John. I’ll be in touch to see how things are going tomorrow.” 

As the phone went dead John took a deep breath. What had he let himself in for? 

He stood up straight and marched back into the hospital, back to Sherlock. He entered the room and saw his friend looking lost and alone. “You OK?” he asked and smiled.

He watched as Sherlock seemed to relax a little. “You’re back.”

Had Sherlock really believed he might not come back? Was he that insecure that he felt John could just abandon him? These thoughts just served to make John more determined to help. “Of course I’m back. I told you I’d only be a few minutes. Didn’t I?” John smiled and Sherlock smiled back. 

“Right, we need to talk before the doctor gets back.” John told him and a concerned look spread over Sherlock’s face. “Look if we’re going to get you through this at home I need to know that you realise it’s not going to be easy and that you will do whatever I tell you to.”

“I will, I promise” John couldn’t help but see the look of relief on Sherlock’s face. He hoped he was doing the right thing.

“Right well you’re gonna have to convince the doctor that you’re ready to be released. So you’re going to have to start by dropping the “someone else did this to me” talk.” Sherlock quickly looked at John “I didn’t say I didn’t believe you Sherlock, but the doctor is never going to buy it and unless he thinks you’re clear headed he won’t discharge you.” 

Sherlock nodded. He understood what John was trying to say.

A little while later the doctor came in. “How are you feeling Sherlock?”

“OK”

“You’re very lucky to be alive, you know that right?”

“Yes. When can I go home?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Please, I know I was stupid. I will be more careful in future. I’m feeling fine now. Really.”

“Hmm”

“I want to go home. I can discharge myself can’t I?”

“I’ll make sure I stay with him.” John added trying to convince the doctor it would be alright.

“Well, I guess if you’re determined there’s not a lot I can do to stop you but I’m really not sure this is a good idea.”

“I want to go home.” Sherlock stated firmly.

The doctor sighed. “Well let me check you over then and if everything seems OK I’ll get the paperwork sorted.” 

A short time later the paperwork was completed and Sherlock and John were stood outside the hospital hailing a cab. “Thank you John.” Sherlock said quietly.

“You’re welcome Sherlock, it’s what friends are for.” John smiled.

In the cab things were silent until Sherlock finally looked at John and asked “What do I tell Mrs Hudson?”

“The truth?”

“But what if she doesn’t believe me?”

“Of course she’ll believe you.”

“You didn’t.”

Those words tore at John’s heart and he dropped his head. He couldn’t look Sherlock in the eye anymore. He hadn’t believed him, not at first. His best friend and he’d doubted him. “I know and I’m really sorry Sherlock.” was all he could say. It was so inadequate. He felt so guilty but what else could he say?

Sherlock reached out and touched John’s arm. “It’s OK. I probably wouldn’t have believed me either.” As John lifted his head Sherlock tried to smile “so why will Mrs Hudson be any different?”

“Do you want me to talk to her? I’ll explain.”

Sherlock nodded. 

The rest of the journey went quickly and they were soon in Baker Street. John paid the driver and they both headed over to 221b. No sooner were they in through the front door than Mrs Hudson met them. She threw her arms round Sherlock and hugged him tight. “Oh Sherlock. I was so worried about you.” She held him out at arms length and studied him “Are you alright?” she asked.

Sherlock remained silent and just looked at her. “He will be.” John answered for him. Mrs Hudson looked at John seeking some sort of explanation. He smiled at her. “Let me get Sherlock sorted and I’ll fill you in. OK?”

She nodded. “You both go upstairs then and I’ll bring some tea.”


	5. Chapter 5

Sherlock walked sadly up the stairs with John behind him. When they got into the flat John immediately took charge. “Right, well why don’t you go and have a shower, then you can have a cup of tea, something to eat and get some sleep.” Sherlock looked at him and frowned. “I know it’s early but once your withdrawal symptoms start you’re going to need your strength, so you should get as much rest as you can now.” 

Sherlock nodded. He knew John was right. He headed off down the hallway towards the bathroom to do as John had instructed. Once Sherlock had gone, John flopped down into his chair and sighed. He really hoped he was up to this.

When Mrs Hudson entered the room she saw John with his head in his hands and no sign of Sherlock. Immediately she started to worry. “Is everything alright John?” she asked concerned. “Where’s Sherlock?”

He looked up and smiled “Sherlock’s taking a shower. Sit down” he said gesturing towards Sherlock’s chair. That didn’t make her feel any better. She heard John sigh, he really wasn’t helping. “OK” he began “Sherlock didn’t take those drugs himself.”

“What? How can that be?”

“He was taken by Moriarty. That’s why he was gone so long. It was Moriarty that had him drugged. He must know about his past I guess and thought that if Sherlock was taking drugs then he wouldn’t be a threat to him.” 

Mrs Hudson stared at John, tears in her eyes. “Shouldn’t he be in hospital then?”

“They wanted him to stay but he was determined to come home. I can’t say I’m not a little bit worried. I’ve never had to deal with someone suffering from drug withdrawal before. I don’t know if I can do this. But what option did I have? He wasn’t going to stay at the hospital and at least if he’s here with me I can try.”

Mrs Hudson could see the concern on John’s face, she understood. She placed a hand on his arm “I’m sure if anyone can help him it’s you. He’s lucky to have you to take care of him you mustn’t forget that. But if you need anything you just call me OK?”

John placed his hand on top of Mrs Hudson’s. “Thank you.” he said simply.

“Right well do you have any food in?”

“Knowing Sherlock, probably not.” he laughed.

“Well, I’ll go and heat you up some soup for now and in the morning I’ll pick you up a few bits. How’s that?”

“You’re an angel Mrs H.” They both stood and John gave Mrs Hudson a kiss on the cheek before she headed off to her own flat to prepare the soup.

A short time later Sherlock walked into the living room. He looked clean and tidy in sweat pants and a T shirt. As he sat down in his chair John handed him a cup of tea. “I’ve explained everything to Mrs Hudson.” John told him. Sherlock nodded but said nothing. “She understands it wasn’t your fault, we both do.” Sherlock looked John in the eye, he needed to see if he really believed that now. John held Sherlock’s gaze, somehow he knew that he was searching for answers. He felt guilty about earlier and he wanted Sherlock to know that he understood. 

When Mrs Hudson entered the room with a tray of soup she was relieved to see her boys sat quietly in their chairs. “Oh Sherlock” she said “How are you feeling?”

He looked up and smiled. She couldn’t believe how well he looked, slightly pale but considering what he’d looked like the last time she saw him that was to be expected. “Here I’ve brought you some soup.” she said cheerily as she put the tray on the table.

“I’m not hungry.” he replied.

“Sherlock you need to eat.” John told him. Sherlock frowned. “You promised to do what I asked and I’m asking you to eat.”

“Yes alright.” Sherlock replied rolling his eyes. 

Mrs Hudson smiled and handed a bowl of soup and a bread roll to each of them. “Thank you Mrs Hudson.” John smiled.

“You’re welcome. Now if there’s anything else you need, you just ask OK?” she said and she patted him on the shoulder as she left. 

When Sherlock had finished his food John said “Why don’t you go and get some sleep. I’m going to tidy this up and then I’m going to settle down too. I’ll make up a bed on the sofa in case you need me in the night.”

Sherlock didn’t really feel tired but he knew John was right, there wouldn’t be much chance of sleep once the withdrawal symptoms started. He also knew that the bed on the sofa was as much about him not being able to sneak out as it was about him needing anything. But he guessed he couldn’t blame John for that, he was only trying to help. 

Sherlock took himself off to his room and got into bed. He lay staring at the ceiling worrying about what lay ahead over the next few days. Wondering if he had the strength to make it. He knew this was going to be hard and he knew it had been unfair of him to insist that John help him but he couldn’t go to a clinic, not again. He hated those places. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime he drifted off to sleep.

John cleared away the bowls, got his things from upstairs and made up a bed on the sofa. He settled down and tried to sleep but it was no use. His mind was too preoccupied. He decided that if he couldn’t sleep he could at least make good use of his time. He opened his laptop and researched withdrawal from opiates in the medical journals. He found plenty of information on the type of symptoms to expect but he knew that already. He was looking for ways to make it easier on the patient but unfortunately that information was difficult to find. There were a few drugs out there that could help but not ones he had easy access to. 

Eventually he grew tired and his eyes began to close. He closed his computer and settled down to sleep hoping that he was ready for what he would face tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning John was woken by the sound of Sherlock shuffling around in the kitchen. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Morning Sherlock.” he said. A grunt was his only reply. He stood up and wandered over to his friend. He noticed Sherlock’s eyelids looked heavy and he didn’t look refreshed after his night’s sleep. “You OK?” he asked. Another grunt. “Look why don’t you go and sit down and I’ll get us some tea.”

Sherlock walked over to his chair and John busied himself in the kitchen. As he carried the mugs of tea into the living room he saw Sherlock sat in his chair, knees hugged to his chest, head resting on his knees, wrapped up in his dressing gown. “You cold?” John asked. Sherlock nodded. This was it then, John thought, withdrawal had officially started.

He put the tea down on the table and grabbed his blanket off the sofa. “Here” he said as he wrapped Sherlock up in it. John could feel Sherlock shivering slightly even though he felt hot and slightly sweaty to the touch. “You drink your tea it’ll help warm you up.” John told him “And I’ll light the fire.”

John held out a mug towards Sherlock who took it and gave the smallest of smiles. Sherlock watched as John started to sort out the fire for warmth. He knew it wasn’t that cold really but he felt awful. He ached all over and felt so tired even after a full night’s sleep. 

“There we’ll soon have you warm.” John smiled as he went to his chair and started to drink his tea. He looked at Sherlock cradling his hot mug in his hands, all wrapped in a blanket. He looked so small, like an ill child John thought. He knew this was going to be hard but he was glad he’d brought Sherlock home. Seeing his friend like this made him realise he couldn’t bear to think of him going through this alone.

John’s phone ringing pulled him from his thoughts and back to reality. He glanced at the screen. It was Mycroft. He picked up the phone and walked into the kitchen. “Hello Mycroft”

“John. How’s it going?”

“Well Sherlock is starting to get his first withdrawal symptoms. Nothing too serious yet though.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Well, there are drugs that can ease the later symptoms but I don’t have easy access to them. Maybe you could set up a medical team that could help?”

“No!” Sherlock’s shout made John jump. He spun round to see Sherlock right behind him. “I’m not seeing anyone. I don’t need any doctors. You promised you’d help me.”

“Sherlock that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to get you some help.”

“Please John I don’t want a medical team. Promise me no one else.”

“But they can give you some drugs to help take away some of the withdrawal symptoms. That’s all I’m suggesting. I’ll still be here.”

“No! Please John, don’t. I don’t want to see any doctors.” With every sentence spoken John could see Sherlock was getting more and more distressed.

“OK Sherlock.” John surrendered to his demands. “No doctors. I promise.” Then into the phone he said “Mycroft forget that idea.”

“Is everything alright John?”

“Yes but the idea of doctors being called in is too stressful for Sherlock so we’ll have to do without.”

“Is that wise?”

“I don’t know but no doubt you heard what he said and I’ve promised him now, so no doctors.”

“OK if that’s what he wants. I know the doctors terrified him the last time.” John heard Mycroft sigh. What had Sherlock been through he wondered? “I appreciate everything you’re doing for him John. Thank you.”

“It’s OK.”

“I’ll call you later, see how he’s doing”

Sherlock had been watching John for the remainder of the conversation. John smiled. “No doctors, well except me. I promise.”

“Thank you John.” With that Sherlock went back into the living room and sat down. 

John sighed. This really wasn’t going to be easy and he was beginning to think he wasn’t capable of getting Sherlock through it. He took a deep breath. Pull yourself together, he thought, that is not going to help.

Just then Mrs Hudson came in with two bags of shopping. “Yoo-hoo” she called out. “How are we both this morning?” She noticed Sherlock huddled in his chair. He didn’t look so good she thought. She took the shopping into the kitchen and placed it on the table.

“Thank you ever so much Mrs Hudson this is a great help.” John told her.

“Oh it’s the least I could do. Is he OK?” she asked gesturing towards Sherlock.

“The withdrawal has started.” John explained “This is the easy bit. Worse is to come I’m afraid.” 

“Oh dear. Poor Sherlock.” she looked over at him, concern on her face. Then her thoughts turned to John, this couldn’t be easy for him either. She turned back to face him. “And what about you dear? How are you doing?”

“Oh I’m fine.” he said dismissively.

Mrs Hudson gave him a disbelieving look. “Really? I know this can’t be easy for you either.”

John gave a snort “No it’s not but I’ve got to do this. Look at him. How could I not help?”

Mrs Hudson glanced at Sherlock and then back to John. “You’re a good man John Watson.” she told him giving him a hug. “If you need anything just let me know.” 

He smiled. “I will.”

Mrs Hudson helped John put the shopping away and then left him to take care of Sherlock. As he walked back into the living room he could see Sherlock was still shivering and he seemed quite restless. “Is there anything I can get you?” he asked.

Sherlock looked up and shook his head. John noticed his eyes were teary and his nose had started to run. He really did look ill. “Sherlock, why don’t you go and lie down on the sofa? I’ll fetch your duvet for you. You might feel a bit more comfortable there.” Without argument Sherlock did as he was told. God he must be feeling ill, John thought, as he went to fetch the duvet.


	7. Chapter 7

As the day wore on Sherlock’s symptoms got gradually worse. He became more irritable and generally bad tempered. John had managed to get him to eat at first but even that was becoming a struggle. 

If the day had felt long the night was worse. Sherlock barely slept and when he did he was restless. John tried to nap in the arm chair when Sherlock was sleeping but it was hardly comfortable. By the following morning they were both exhausted.

John stood up, stretched and headed towards the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. “How does a boiled egg sound?” he asked Sherlock who hardly even acknowledged the question. He figured it was a light meal that Sherlock should be able to manage even though he’d started to feel a bit nauseous. 

When the eggs and tea were ready he called “Breakfast’s ready.” but Sherlock didn’t move. John walked into the living room. “Sherlock I said breakfast is ready.” 

“I know but I don’t want any.” Sherlock grumbled.

“You’ve got to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Sherlock!” John said sternly.

Sherlock threw back the duvet, got up and stomped into the kitchen. He felt awful and the only thing he wanted right now were the drugs that would take all these symptoms away. John didn’t understand. How could he?

Sherlock sat down at the table but only played with his food. John started to eat and after a few minutes he said “Sherlock you need to eat that.”

“I’m not hungry!”

“Sherlock you need your strength.”

“Well I’m not hungry.” Sherlock knew John was only trying to help. But he wasn’t helping was he? Helping would be giving him what he needed and that wasn’t boiled eggs and tea. Sherlock could feel the anger rising inside him.

“Sherlock please eat your breakfast.”

“I don’t need food John I need drugs.”

“No you don’t”

“You don’t know what I need. You have no idea. None at all. How could you?” Sherlock stood up from the table. Right now he hated the man sat across from him. Who was he to tell him what to do? What did he know?

John stood up. “Sherlock...”

Sherlock grabbed his plate from the table and threw it at John. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted him to suffer like he was suffering right now.

John looked shocked as the plate whistled past his ear and smashed against the wall behind him. It missed his head by millimetres. Sherlock was horrified by what he’d done. He’d really wanted to hurt John. His one true friend in all the world and he’d wanted to hurt him. Sherlock had an image in his head of what might have happened had his aim been better. 

He turned and almost ran to his chair. He felt ashamed. How could he have done such a thing? He slumped into his chair and cradled his head in his hands. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and there was no way he could look at John after what he’d just done.

John stood for a few seconds unable to move, unable to take in what had just happened. He knew people suffering from withdrawal could be irritable but he hadn’t expected such a violent outburst over something so trivial.

John pulled himself together and walked over to Sherlock. “Sherlock” he said calmly but Sherlock refused to look up. John knelt down in front of him and took hold of Sherlock’s arms gently. “Sherlock it’s OK.”

“I can’t do this John. I need it.”

“You can do this.” 

“No I can’t. I don’t care anymore I just need it.”

“You do care. You care if Moriarty wins. You can’t let him Sherlock. And I care. We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. You’d be doing this in some clinic, alone. But instead you’re at home, with me, just as you wanted. But you made me a promise Sherlock, remember? To do everything I told you to do. Well now it’s time to fulfil that promise and I’m telling you, you can do this. I’m telling you to be strong. We will make it, together.” As he said these words John gently pulled on Sherlock’s arms until he could see Sherlock’s face. He put one hand gently under Sherlock’s chin and eased his head up until Sherlock had to look at him. He smiled reassuringly. “It’s OK.” With his other hand John took Sherlock’s pulse it was racing.

Sherlock looked in to John’s eyes and all he saw was love. He felt his tears start to fall. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done. “I’m sorry John. I’m so sorry.” he sobbed. John got up from his knees, sat on the arm of the chair, put his arms around his friend and held him while he cried.

A few minutes passed and John’s phone started to ring. He loosened his hold on Sherlock and sat back so he could see his face. “You OK?” he asked. Sherlock nodded and began to wipe his tear stained face with his hands. “I should get that.” John said as he stood and walked over to the table where his phone lay.

“Hello John” It was Mycroft.

“Mycroft.”

“How is he today?”

“Well it’s been a long night, with not much sleep and he’s feeling a bit rough today but we’ll get there.”

“And his symptoms?”

“Well he’s feeling rather nauseous and the cravings have started but he’s coping. Your brother’s strong and he’s not about to let the likes of Moriarty win now is he?”

“Do I take it that the little speech was as much for his benefit as mine?”

“Well possibly.”

“You’re a clever man John Watson. That’s a good tactic. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t think so thanks Mycroft we’ll be fine.”

Sherlock had his eyes fixed on John for the whole conversation and as he put the phone down Sherlock spoke. “Thank you John.” John frowned unsure what he was being thanked for. “For not telling Mycroft what I did.” He still felt ashamed and he really didn’t want his brother knowing.

“Well it’s none of his business.” John smirked. He was pleased to see that his comment brought the smallest of smiles to Sherlock’s face. “Right, well I better get this mess cleaned up. Why don’t you go and have a shower? Might make you feel a little bit more human.” Sherlock didn’t think it would help and couldn’t really be bothered but after what he’d just done he wasn’t going to argue. He rose from his chair, nodded and headed off down the hallway to the bathroom.

Once John heard the bathroom door shut and the shower start to run he flopped down into his chair and sighed. He’d never thought this was going to be easy but it was a whole lot harder than he’d ever imagined.


	8. Chapter 8

John sat for a minute trying to get his thoughts together before deciding it was time he got the kitchen cleaned up. He was just picking up the broken plate when Mrs Hudson knocked and came in. “Oh dear. What happened?” she asked.

“It was nothing. Sherlock had a little accident.”

“Is he OK?”

“Oh yes he’s fine.”

Mrs Hudson studied John’s face for a few seconds and then went on “This was no accident was it? Are you OK?”

“I’m not sure I can do this.” he said sadly.

“Oh John. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you but I know that if anyone can do this it’s you. You care so much about Sherlock...”

“Yes but am I really helping him?”

“Of course you are. You help him more than you will ever know.” She smiled at John 

“You really think so?”

“I know you do. Why do you think Sherlock chose you to help him with this in the first place? He believes in you John. I believe in you. Now you just need to believe in yourself.” She watched as John thought about what she’d said. She looked at the mess on the floor and went on “Why don’t you let me do that for you?”

“No. Thanks for the offer but I better do it. Sherlock’s really embarrassed about it so if he comes out and thinks you know what happened I’m not sure how he’ll react.” 

Mrs Hudson walked over to John and gave him a gentle kiss. “OK but if you need me you give me a shout OK?”

“I will. Thank you.” 

As Mrs Hudson reached the door she turned “How would you like me to bring you some tea and cake in half an hour?”

“Home made cake?” John asked

“What else.” She smiled.

“That would be great. Thanks Mrs H.” Finally she saw the frown lift and a smile spread across the doctor’s face.

John got on with clearing up the mess and by the time he heard the shower stop the kitchen was sorted. He was just heading to the living room when he heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He walked to the door and knocked. “Sherlock you OK?” he asked. He didn’t get an answer but he could hear Sherlock heaving. “Sherlock can I come in?” No answer. John tried the door and it was unlocked. As he walked in he saw Sherlock wrapped in a towel, head over the toilet, being sick. “Oh Sherlock.” he said sympathetically. 

John could see Sherlock shivering as he knelt there still damp from the shower. He went into Sherlock’s bedroom and grabbed his thickest dressing gown from the back of the door. “Here put this on to keep you warm.” He told Sherlock as he wrapped it around him. When Sherlock came up for air he helped him put his arms in the sleeves and fasten it. 

“Feeling any better now?” Sherlock shook his head. “Do you want to go back to the living room?”

“I can’t” Sherlock managed to say before he started to heave again. 

John knelt beside him and rubbed his back. He wished there was something more he could do to help. After a few minutes Sherlock finally sat back against the wall. He looked so pale and exhausted. John handed him a damp flannel to wipe his face. “Are you ready to move now?”

Sherlock nodded “I think so.” 

John helped him onto his feet and took him into his bedroom. “Can you get your pyjamas on?” 

“Yes.”

“OK. You do that then while I get you a drink of water.” When John returned with the drink, Sherlock had done as he’d asked and was sat on the bed. John sat beside him and handed him the glass. Sherlock took a few sips and then placed it on the cupboard beside his bed. “Do you want to lie down here or in the living room?” John asked.

Sherlock looked at his friend “The living room.” he told him. He knew it was pathetic but right now he didn’t want to be on his own.

John stood up and held out his hand. “Come on then.” he smiled. Sherlock took his hand and John helped him up. He then supported him as they walked down the hallway to the living room. John let Sherlock lay down on the sofa and as he covered him over with the duvet he said “Why don’t you try and get some sleep.” Within minutes Sherlock had managed to doze off much to John’s relief. Then he settled himself in his chair so he could keep a close eye on his friend.

A few minutes later John heard Mrs Hudson coming up the stairs. He jumped up and opened the door for her. “Thank you John.” she said.

“Ssshhh” John indicated for her to be quiet “Sherlock’s finally getting some sleep.” 

“Oh OK” she whispered. She carried the tray into the living room and placed it on the table. “Want some company?” she asked John quietly.

John nodded and sat down. Mrs Hudson sat opposite him. She poured the tea and handed it to John along with a slice of cake. He took a bite. “Mmm this is lovely. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome dear.” she told him. “So how is he?”

“It’s hard for him.” Mrs Hudson saw the concern on John’s face. “The cravings have started and he’s been sick. He’s just completely exhausted now.”

“You look tired too. When do you sleep?”

“I try and nap when Sherlock sleeps. But I’m on edge in case he wakes and the cravings get the better of him. I can’t have him wandering off.” he looked across as Sherlock fidgeted in his sleep.

“Oh I understand dear. Why don’t I sit with him for a while and you can go upstairs and get some sleep.”

“No I can’t.” John told her. “I need to be here for him. He’s my responsibility. I promised him. Thanks for the offer though.”

“OK but you need to look after yourself as well remember.” Mrs Hudson smiled. She admired his dedication but worried about his health if he kept on like this. “The offer stands if you need it just let me know.”

“I will and thank you. But hopefully he should start to pick up in the next day or two.”

When they’d finished their tea and cake Mrs Hudson cleared away the plates and headed back downstairs. John sat looking at his best friend. He was constantly restless. John hoped that things would start to improve soon. He hated seeing Sherlock suffer like this especially when there was nothing he could do to stop it.


	9. Chapter 9

When Sherlock woke a short time later he still looked pale and tired. His head was spinning and the need he felt for that high was unbearable. “Are you OK?” he heard John ask. 

Sherlock sat up slightly. John could see him shaking. “No John I don’t think I am.” he whimpered. 

John was by his side in an instant. “What is it Sherlock? What can I do?”

“Nothing.” Sherlock told him sadly “I just need it so badly.” 

John could see tears in his friend’s eyes and he wanted nothing more than to take his pain away. “Oh Sherlock.” he muttered “I wish there was something I could do.”

“You’re doing it.” Sherlock told him. “You’re here.”

John sat on the sofa beside his friend and put his arm around his shoulder. He switched on the TV. There was nothing much on but he figured anything that might distract their minds for a little while was better than nothing.

Sherlock leant against John, grateful for the support. They sat together, staring at the TV screen. Neither of them really taking anything in. Sherlock drifted in and out of sleep. He felt sick and tired but was too agitated to get any proper sleep.

The rest of the afternoon and into the evening was spent the same way. John offered Sherlock food but he wasn’t interested and after the incident that morning John decided he wasn’t going to push his luck. He was pleased that Sherlock was drinking though so at least he didn’t have to worry about him dehydrating.

Eventually, in the early hours of the morning Sherlock finally fell into a slightly more restful sleep and John hoped he would get some proper rest. He lay Sherlock down and tucked him under the duvet to keep him warm. He went into the kitchen and grabbed himself a sandwich and a cup of tea before settling into his armchair to try and sleep himself. It didn’t really work. The chair was uncomfortable and after a few hours Sherlock was awake again.

The next twenty four hours followed a very similar pattern. When Sherlock was awake he was agitated and when he was asleep he was restless. John was starting to look and feel exhausted. Mrs Hudson kept them supplied with tea and John supplied with food. She was really beginning to worry about him. 

The day turned into night and John could feel exhaustion getting the better of him. As Sherlock fell asleep John looked at the clock. 1am. He yawned. He wanted to keep an eye on Sherlock but he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Finally he fell into a deep sleep. A long overdue sleep.

The next morning John woke with a start. He looked over to the sofa, no Sherlock. “Sherlock!” he shouted as he got to his feet. He looked around. He wasn’t in the kitchen. He ran down the hallway shouting “Sherlock!” He looked in the bathroom, he wasn’t there. The bedroom? No. Oh my god, he thought, he’s gone. 

There was only one explanation, that Sherlock had gone to find something to satisfy his cravings. John was distraught. He couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep like that. He knew Sherlock was struggling. He knew he had cravings and now he’d let him relapse. How could he be so stupid? Sherlock had trusted him to help and he’d let him down.

John staggered back to the living room. Panic was taking over in his head. He sat down heavily in his chair. He needed to think. He needed to calm down and think. How was he going to find Sherlock? He had no idea where he might have gone. Then another awful thought struck him. How was he going to tell Mycroft what he’d done? He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, he was no good to anyone like this. He needed to get a grip.

Just then he heard footsteps on the stairs. He leapt from his chair and raced across the room. He threw the door open not sure what he would find. “Sherlock?” he asked desperately.

Sherlock nearly jumped out of his skin when John threw open the door and barked his name. “Yes what is it?” he stammered. 

John looked Sherlock up and down. He looked OK. He didn’t look high but then would he really be able to tell? Mind you he was still in his pyjamas. Would he really go round London looking for drugs like that? All these thoughts flashed through John’s head as he said “I was worried when I woke and you weren’t there. Are you alright?”

Sherlock stared back at him. “I was hungry and I didn’t want to wake you so I went to see Mrs Hudson.” A suspicious frown spread over Sherlock’s face. “You thought I’d gone to get high.”

John immediately felt ashamed and embarrassed. He dropped his head. “Sorry Sherlock.” He muttered as he turned and walked back into the flat.

Sherlock felt annoyed even though he knew it was a perfectly logical thing to think. He was still stood on the stairs when he heard a voice behind him. He looked over his shoulder, it was Mrs Hudson a tray in her hand “Don’t be angry Sherlock, you know he cares. He hadn’t slept for days because he was so worried.” 

Sherlock felt the anger fall away, he knew she was right. He walked into the flat to see John sat in his chair with his head in his hands. This man had done so much he couldn’t blame him for thinking what he did. “John, I asked Mrs Hudson to make your favourite.” he told him “To say thank you for staying with me, even after.... well, you know.” 

John looked up to see Sherlock looking slightly embarrassed after remembering the plate incident. He smiled. “You’re welcome Sherlock and I really am sorry for thinking what I did.”

“It’s alright. It was the logical assumption after all.”

Mrs Hudson handed a tray to John with a full cooked breakfast on it. “Here you go, eat that. You deserve it.” she told him kissing him on top of the head. “I’ll go and make some tea to go with it.”

John smiled. “Thanks Mrs Hudson. I’ve got to admit I’m starving.” He looked at Sherlock. “And thanks for organising it.” As John tucked into his breakfast he was pleased to see Sherlock was looking a bit more like his old self. He still looked tired but he definitely looked a lot better. It felt good to have him sat in his usual chair, fingers steepled under his nose like he always did when he was thinking. “So what are you thinking about?” John asked as he ate.

“How lucky I am to have a friend like you.” Sherlock answered. 

John almost dropped his fork in shock. He’d never thought Sherlock would say something like that. “Sorry what?”

Sherlock looked at John embarrassed as he realised he’d actually said out loud what he was thinking. “You heard me.” he muttered. “I won’t be repeating it.” John laughed and as Sherlock looked at his friend he couldn’t help but laugh a little too.

Mrs Hudson brought them in some tea. It was such a relief to see her boys looking more like their normal selves and with smiles on their faces. She couldn’t help but feel proud of both of them. 

John noticed the look in her eyes. “You know what. If Sherlock is finally getting his appetite back I think we should go out for dinner tonight to celebrate. Do you want to come with us?” he asked her.

“Really?” she asked surprised.

“Yes. Don’t you think Sherlock?”

Sherlock frowned at John, confused. He saw John nod at him slightly and knew what his answer was expected to be. “Um yes.” he said, still unsure why.

“Oh thank you boys. I’d love to.” And with that Mrs Hudson left the flat humming to herself.

John gave a slight laugh as he looked at Sherlock’s confusion. “She’s helped me a lot over the last few days Sherlock. I’m not sure I could have done it without her. And she cares. It’s just a little way of saying thank you.”

“Oh.” he nodded. 

The next week was definitely easier. With each day Sherlock became more his old self and John felt more confident that they would make it. They took walks, ate out and even took on the odd simple case to occupy Sherlock’s mind.

It was a few weeks before John felt comfortable enough to sleep in his own bed at night rather than on the sofa or to leave Sherlock alone in case he felt cravings he couldn’t resist. Sherlock was frustrated by John’s insistence that he went everywhere with him but he did understand his worries so tried not to show it. 

But as things got back to normal there was one thing they both knew. They might not have caught Moriarty yet, but in this battle they had most definitely beaten him.


End file.
